Day 23. Bend, Not Break

Bend, Not Break - A life in two worlds is the title of a best-selling memoir by Ping Fu with my friend MeiMei Fox as co-writer. Ping Fu is the founder and CEO of Geomagic, Inc and she tells her story as a child soldier, factory worker and political prisoner in China, and her incredible journey of building a pioneering software company in the US. It's a great book on leadership, entrepreneurship, negotiation, business building, commitment, honesty, resilience and above all, the power of human spirit. I highly recommend it.

I also see it as a very relevant book related to mindfulness and conscious living. Ping Fu's entire life-journey can be said to be a great example of conscious living. Not because she's always conscious about the choices she's made (even though she comes across as having an incredible self-awareness), but because she's always looking at what she has now, right in front of her, and creates something amazing with what she has, without resisting what's given to her. Essentially a textbook case of presence in action, so to speak.

I feel deeply inspired, as well as humbled, reading about her extraordinary life and how she's always choosing to seek out the best in people while never giving up. A powerful teacher and role-model.
Jai Ma!

Day 22. Lotta 3.0

I feel as if Lotta 3.0 is emerging. Very cool. Lotta 1.0 was my Swedish over-achiever disconnected self. It died together with my first Venture Capital funded start-up. Lotta 2.0 that resurfaced in the US and who became a coach, yoga teacher, writer, singer and healer, filled to the brink with life, was overall a much more fun person to be around. But the anxiety, coupled with self-consciousness, a spiritual desire to flee the world and still a strong need to prove herself, whether as a coach, business leader or Leader of the Swedish-American Chamber, was exhausting. Lotta 3.0, however, who just now is emerging, is different. She's cooler, if I may say that. And happier. I will learn more about her the coming year, which I'll share in this blog.

How are your iterations of self doing?

Day 21. South Park's version of the Meaning of Life

A fabulous video with Alan Watts as narrator, produced by Trey Parker & Matt Stone on the big life-lie we all perpetuate. Wonderful reminder of what's truly important.

Day 20. On finding yourself

I can't count the number of times I've had to find myself. I used to think it was a one-time deal. Like you find yourself, hallelujah! and then you are done. Period. Forever. I was wrong. Again. Finding yourself might not be a full-time job, but it certainly is a recurring pastime. The upside, however, is that it gets easier, it goes faster and it's like finding your favorite old baggy sweatshirt that was lost in a pile of discarded clothes. And I don't mean the the sweaty one, I'm talking about the clean yet comfy one, and you just are able relax, secure in the knowing that you are home again. I've found myself again. And it feels darn good.

Day 16. The Tech Support Consciousness Test

One of the best way to test any form of consciousness is to deal with two separate tech support functions. And it's very clear today that I failed quite miserably. I find it intriguing, though, that I get so angry. Yes, they don't reply to what I'm asking for, they don't understand and it takes hours, but why does that lead to anger? What is it that I'm resisting? That I have to do it without their help? That I get so locked into the idea that they will 'fix' things, that I can't let go? That it won't look or work the way I wanted it to?

In the end, though, I managed to fix most things on my own. It's not perfect, but it's ok. And tomorrow I will launch myself, which I, btw, also have some resistance too : ). Ah, how lovely it is to observe one's own follies : ).

The Swedish 20th Century author and playwright August Strindberg wrote the play Ett Drömspel, in English A Dreamplay. It is about a Goddess who descends on earth to observe the drama of humans. Her most famous line in the play is: "Det är synd om människorna" or "Human Beings are to be pitied." My intuitive teacher, however, has a much better take on that. He maintains that when you start looking at energy, past lives, and a lot of other interesting matters, you learn how to not take yourself, or your life, so seriously. And since we will always create drama for ourselves, a favorite pastime of the ego, I would say that 'Human Beings need to learn how to cut loose." Starting with myself.

Day 15. Almost D-Day

My new wix-site is almost done at lottaalsen.com, and I'm quite proud of how it looks like. Wohoo! But it's taken a lot more time than I had planned, and I've lost some traction in the chronicling of my consciousness-journey. After my birthday-party this Saturday, which was awesome, btw, I ended up with my first hang-over in several years : ), and I lost it completely. I'm slowly building myself back again. One thing that is crystal clear, though, that the more I stay present, the happier I am, and vice versa.

Day 3. Never Underestimate Our Inclination to Bolt

One thing that has become abundantly clear, in the short three days that I've done this, is that I have an incessant desire to escape. Like today at yoga, when there was a tall guy who kept moving his mat into my space, inch by inch. I almost barked at him, but I bit my tongue and gave him the evil eye instead, which, of course, is a lot more evolved. Pema Chodron writes "Never underestimate our inclination to bolt", for example in a meditation practice, when we will try almost anything in order not to take a seat. It's as applicable to anything else we do in our lives. 99% of our time we are trying to find ways not to be here. And 99,9% of the time, we will resist anything that we deem as negative, either by blaming someone or something, or by obsessing over it, like I did the first 80 minutes of my 1,5 hour yoga practice, or by just walking away.

What a beautiful, and humbling, practice this will be...