Day 16. The Tech Support Consciousness Test

One of the best way to test any form of consciousness is to deal with two separate tech support functions. And it's very clear today that I failed quite miserably. I find it intriguing, though, that I get so angry. Yes, they don't reply to what I'm asking for, they don't understand and it takes hours, but why does that lead to anger? What is it that I'm resisting? That I have to do it without their help? That I get so locked into the idea that they will 'fix' things, that I can't let go? That it won't look or work the way I wanted it to?

In the end, though, I managed to fix most things on my own. It's not perfect, but it's ok. And tomorrow I will launch myself, which I, btw, also have some resistance too : ). Ah, how lovely it is to observe one's own follies : ).

The Swedish 20th Century author and playwright August Strindberg wrote the play Ett Drömspel, in English A Dreamplay. It is about a Goddess who descends on earth to observe the drama of humans. Her most famous line in the play is: "Det är synd om människorna" or "Human Beings are to be pitied." My intuitive teacher, however, has a much better take on that. He maintains that when you start looking at energy, past lives, and a lot of other interesting matters, you learn how to not take yourself, or your life, so seriously. And since we will always create drama for ourselves, a favorite pastime of the ego, I would say that 'Human Beings need to learn how to cut loose." Starting with myself.

Day 15. Almost D-Day

My new wix-site is almost done at lottaalsen.com, and I'm quite proud of how it looks like. Wohoo! But it's taken a lot more time than I had planned, and I've lost some traction in the chronicling of my consciousness-journey. After my birthday-party this Saturday, which was awesome, btw, I ended up with my first hang-over in several years : ), and I lost it completely. I'm slowly building myself back again. One thing that is crystal clear, though, that the more I stay present, the happier I am, and vice versa.

Day 3. Never Underestimate Our Inclination to Bolt

One thing that has become abundantly clear, in the short three days that I've done this, is that I have an incessant desire to escape. Like today at yoga, when there was a tall guy who kept moving his mat into my space, inch by inch. I almost barked at him, but I bit my tongue and gave him the evil eye instead, which, of course, is a lot more evolved. Pema Chodron writes "Never underestimate our inclination to bolt", for example in a meditation practice, when we will try almost anything in order not to take a seat. It's as applicable to anything else we do in our lives. 99% of our time we are trying to find ways not to be here. And 99,9% of the time, we will resist anything that we deem as negative, either by blaming someone or something, or by obsessing over it, like I did the first 80 minutes of my 1,5 hour yoga practice, or by just walking away.

What a beautiful, and humbling, practice this will be...

Day 1. Diving In

What does it mean to live consciously? I'm sure there are about 7 billion answers to that. My definition, however, is something like this:

To use each day to practice presence and mindfulness, even when I'm building a business and raising venture capital, which is as far from a mountain top you can get. And how to find a way back when I lose myself, which I will, every day, every minute. This means  eating mindfully, which is another monumental challenge. But I'm committed and curious to see what unfolds here, and whether having a public accountability will help me achieve increased consciousness.

And maybe if it works for me, it can be an inspiration for you as well.